Monday, March 21, 2011

Some Tattooed Bastards probably owe me $35

The back story: So my work used to own this parking lot. It was 6 blocks from the office, but it was free. Any of you who live or work in a downtown area can appreciate how useful free 9-5 parking is. Its in a not too awesome part of town on the other side of the tracks both literally and figuratively. There used to be a bridge over the tracks, but that got knocked down for being unstable, and there are currently no plans to replace it. There was also a free shuttle, but the city stopped doing that because of budget cuts. For the longest time you just had to walk the six blocks, and hope you didn't get stopped at the tracks by a train for 10 minutes. There always seems to be a 2 mile long train coming through town right at rush hour, and I can never figure out why they would schedule it that way.
Then the company sold the parking lot. They'd owned it since the dawn of time, and the area is slowly being gentrified, so they probably made a pretty penny off it. There were only like 10 of us cheap skates that still parked there any way. For a while the people that bought it let us park there for free anyway, but then they didn't. There was plenty of free on street parking around the lot, so a few of us just started parking on the street in front of the lot which happened to be across the street from a Tattoo Parlor.
The Indecent: For over a month we parked in a little line, happy as clams. Last Thursday, I got about half way home when I noticed a funny sound my car was making. I got out and my tire was flat, and apparently had been for a while, as it was totally shredded. I didn't think anything of it, as the car is a POS and crap just falls off it all the time. Friday morning, I drop it off to get a new(used) tire. $35. No biggie.
So I get to work, and one of the other guys in my department who had been parking in the same spot, asks me if the Tattoo Shop guy talked to me. No. No, he hadn't. He explained that as he got into his car the night before, the big burly tattoo shop guy came up to hes car and asked him to not park there anymore. See, according to this guy, us parking across the street was chasing off all his business.
I guess people were having trouble finding parking in the abandoned warehouse district of north Tulsa, and were just driving onto the next shop. Never mind that the area has plenty of parking all over the place, or that his shop doesn't even open until 1:00pm, is closed on Monday, and the area doesn't have another shop within 5 miles, or that 90% of their business is by appointment only. Tattoo guy even points out that the spots we all were parking in is actually a bike lane, but that he hack-sawed the no parking sign so his clients could park there. Seems a little weird, also probably a felony, but okay, I guess. I mean, it's on street parking. First come first serve. That is the law of the concrete jungle. At this point I hadn't put two and two together. Then coworker #2 showed up. He asks if I noticed any glass or anything around our cars last night. No, why? Because he got a flat last night. Rear passenger side, just like mine. Luckily, he caught it in time, and put his spare on before he left.
It was then that we all realized that we might be dealing with a bunch of assholes. We got confirmation of this when coworker #2 called me from the tire shop on Saturday to say that there was no hole in his tire, just that somebody let all the air out.
I think somebody owes me $35.
The rear passenger tire would be the easiest to deflate without being seen. If these dicks are so busy tattooing and expanding their business, when did they have the time to pull an immature stunt like this? If they are so worried about on-street parking, why do they all park their hoopties right in front of the place, and not up the block? If not being able to park right across the street for a few hours of their work day is what is ruining their business, they have WAY bigger problems. And what the hell, man? You could have just told me, like you did coworker #1. I may have argued with you, but at least it would have been civilized. Big tough guy has to deflate some tires like a in 4th grade bully? LAME. It makes me want to park right in front ALL THE TIME now, but who knows what they'll do to my car if I do.
Well there may be some fun and interesting ways to retaliate, since I can't prove anything. I won't throw a brick through the window or put gum in the locks or anything that would bring me down to their level. I could rally the power of the internet and have a bunch of people leave bad reviews on Yelp and Google, but that seems really dishonest. There is a number to call if signage in in Tulsa is in need of repair or update, however.
Let me know what you think.

-JP