Things my wife has made up about fictional animals

I had a good weekend. I had Friday off, so I did a bunch of yardwork and chores and stuff. Saturday Jack and Cody and I went to the coffeeshop and then I cooked us all some fillets wrapped in bacon that kicked bottom. Jen made mashed potatos and they were equally bottom kicking. We drank some adult beverages and killed parasitic bugs. (one did not lead to the other)
At some point, Jen and I started talking about how I will eventually take Jackson camping and she will not attend. Partly because camping is a very father-son bonding thing, but mostly because she's really girly and doesn't like dirt. Then this happened:

Jen: Well, if you go, you need to watch out for the Oklahoma Grizzly Beast.

Jason: The Oklahoma Grizzly Beast?

Jen: Yep. It looks like a bobcat... but it has the face of a lion.

Jason: Really?

Jen: Yeah, and there's longer fur down the middle of it's back.

Jason: Like a mohawk?

Jen: Yes. And... (motioning to her mouth ala the Holy Grail Bunny scene) It has those big teeth.

Jason: Saber-teeth?

Jen: Yeah.

Jason: Oooo... Kay. Does it have stripes or cheetah spots or...

Jen: NO! It has cow spots! (Jason spits out his beer swig)

Jason: Well, does it have cat eyes or those black cow eyes that look like they have no soul?

Jen: No, listen. That's the thing. That's how they get you! It has big blue human eyes and these long eyelashes! So when you see one, it looks at you like a puppy and you go 'awww..' and when you go to pet it, it GETS you! Rawr!

Jason: Well you be sure to tell Jack about that before we leave. So I gotta deal with nightmares.


Here is what popped into my head:

Careful out there, kiddies!