ugh.

Creepy sadness and a lot of thoughts on frugality.
Yesterday, Brian posted this very sweet message to his baby on his first birthday. I got all teared up because my kid turns a year old on Monday. Brian is a much better writer than I, and seemed to sum up a lot of very similar feelings that I had, only more succinctly. Then I find out last night that a girl I knew from the coffeeshop, whose husband went to high school with Jen was in a terrible accident, where her 5 year old kid was killed. Everybody else is okay, but the little brother is already asking about it. How does one deal with their own grief, and explain it to a little kid at the same time? This on the heels of another tragedy where a guy from work's 18 month old son drowned in the tub at the babysitter's.
Normally I wouldn't empathize that much, but having a kid of my own has changed my perspective on a lot of things that I hadn't really realized. I spent the first few months of his life just trying to keep him happy and fed. Now I realize that my main job is to keep him alive. I said before that 90% of parenting is surveillance and containment, the rest is engagement. I've stopped myself many times from making a big deal when he bonks his head or falls over (when minor) because getting knocked around a little bit is part of life. These things happen, and if I don't make a big deal out of it, neither will he. It seems to have worked so far. Jack is a happy, curious, mischievous kid, and seeing him figure out the world has been an awesome thing to watch. But he is indeed a fragile little thing, and there are any number of outside influences that can harm him. What the fuck am I supposed to do about that? I can't put him in a baby sized gerbil ball, or keep him locked up in the house because that's no way to live. I want him to see as much of the world as possible, and I guess I just need to come to terms with the fact that shit happens. That doesn't mean I can't take precautions, but I can't freak out either, like those women you see in the grocery store that dip their kid's toy in bleach every time they drop it on the floor. That just makes the kid scared of the world, and too timid to venture out in it on their own. I guess a balance will naturally reveal itself, and I should just embrace that.
I do love that little weirdo.